SAA Families - Winter 2000By Scott Browning, Ph.D., Clinical Chair

Many families need therapeutic interventions on occasion. For any number of reasons, people find themselves seeking out therapy. As family therapy evolves into a more recognized and respected therapeutic modality, the choice to pursue therapy with one’s family is more common. People recognize that going to a therapist by oneself, when the problems involve everyone in the family is not helpful. This is not an indictment of individual therapy, which serves a great purpose, but rather, recognition that for some people the method to resolve relational issues demands the presence of all parties.

A common error is the assumption that a family therapist can work with any family. This is not only a misperception generated by families, but by therapists as well. In many situations psychotherapy is a field where therapists expand their practice by taking on clients that stretch their knowledge base. In those instances, most responsible therapists seek out supervision or useful reading material to be more familiar with the presenting situation. For example, if a therapist is going to see a client who has an eating disorder, a he will read the literature of that field, seek out supervision, or go to a workshop.

In my experience, family therapists may be reluctant to identify their lack of knowledge on some structural family dynamics, such as adoption, stepfamilies or single parenting. Frequently, family therapists have held the belief that if they are familiar with “systems thinking,” they are, therefore, by definition, prepared to treat all systems or families. The mistake in such thinking is rarely malicious, rather, it is a result of the conviction of the therapist believing that once a therapist understands how people interact in families, all families can be treated using this identical base of knowledge.

As more and more stepfamilies seek treatment therapists will need to be prepared to answer questions posed by the family that are clearly intended to judge the therapist’s familiarity and comfort with stepfamilies. It is critical to remember here that being a member of a stepfamily oneself is not sufficiently helpful in understanding the range of stepfamily issues. Certainly many would not divulge personal information to the client, and some might only mention it well into treatment, however, it is the perception of the therapist that is most important. If the therapist evaluates his or her knowledge too broadly, the stepfamily in treatment may suffer. Although we recognize certain common traits among many stepfamilies, a comprehensive understanding based on case studies and research is necessary in helping the therapist avoid being co-opted by one or another subsystem.

The purpose of this article is to inform therapists of how I respond when a stepfamily member e-mails or calls me requesting advice on how to interview a stepfamily therapist. Most often the sequence is that a stepfamily member makes an appointment with a family therapist, gets everyone together for a initial session, and the chemistry between the therapist and the family is not a positive one. On most occasions, the stepfamily member informs me that the therapist was nice enough, but was truly unaware of stepfamily issues. They might talk about the parent and stepparent having equal say in discipline from the first day of the remarriage. They might downplay some of the feelings of being stuck between a child and a spouse. For one reason or another the stepfamily begins to perceive that the therapist not only is naive about stepfamilies, but also is placing certain first-marriage family standards on the stepfamily.

Therefore, a family therapist should be able to respond to the following questions with grace and limited preparation:

1. How do you see stepfamilies as unique from first-marriage families?

2. How do you work differently with stepfamilies than you do when seeing a first-marriage family?

3. Are you certified, or an affiliate of a stepfamily organization?

4. What books do you recommend that I read?

5. Do you know of any stepfamily groups around for us to do in addition to therapy?

If the answers to these questions are clear to you, you will be able to assure a stepfamily that you recognize the dynamics that make stepfamily living a challenge for many. Such knowledge will assist you in conducting therapy with this important and large population. If you are unsure as to how you would go about answering these questions, the following suggestions might be worth considering. The SAA central office is aware of the most recommended books both for the lay and professional populations. Feel free to call and build up your library. Secondly, supervision and workshops not only improve your therapy with stepfamilies, but also will likely expand the number of referrals you receive as someone skilled in working with stepfamilies.